Tears Worth Falling

You look at me, my knees go weak,
You turn your head my heart sinks,
I always take you back to me,
Knowing the tears that will follow, But
Its all worth it to feel that brief happiness.

I don't know how you do it,
Or why you'd even try,
I do know it kills me,
That you can't make up your mind, But
Its all worth it to feel that brief happiness.

We're on again, off again,
I always say that's the last goodbye,
But you and I both know that's a lie,
Even after all the pain, and all the hurt,
Its all worth it to feel that brief happiness.

This time I wish I could say it'll last,
But I know better than to believe it,
I guess I should give up; Though I won't,
Because when you look at me and smile,
I know its all worth it to feel that brief happiness.

MARILYN

I hope you like my new site background. I am completely obsessed with Marilyn Monroe. You should see my "wall of marilyn" Any ways enjoy!

Won't these ppl ever grow up????

I'm so tired of people begging for attention. It makes me want to shove them in a closet and forget about them...how's that for attention guys??....I know SEVERAL people who will be fine one minute and the next thing you know they've got a group of people around them as they ball their eyes out, and blabber about God knows what. Now this is typically girls, but I know boys dyong for someone to notice them as well. However, these are usually the guys in class who won't shutup and insist on making these "funny" remarks to where even if you aren't one to buy into their pathetic ways you still have to listen to them, whereas with girls you can tell them to suck it up and simply walk away. They feel like an idiot, and you feel like a bitch. It's a win win situation. For example in my "p.e"* class there's a girl who every day get's a post-it on her back reading"drama queen". Now you may think this is mean and that when she sees this it'll hurt her feelings assuming she's going to be worried about acting like a drama queen. But no, What does she do every day when she sees this sign? Yells, Panics, Gripes, you would think someone had shaved her head when she asked for a trim or something you know? Another group of people at school that I tend to dread greeting daily are the teachers that think they're your friend. Don't get me wrong, there are some awesome teachers out there. Some of them I actually like even. But face it people a bunch of freshmen don't want to be your friend. Sometimes i wonder how sad their social life must be outside of school when they're so concerned about who's dating who and all the gossip and goings on in the school. Maybe I just have no feelings of sympathy tpwards these teachers. If you really think about it you'd be bored to sitting in a classroom all day with a bunch of kids. I'm understanding to that; just don't talk to me ok?....ecspecially when I'm tired!

This may get your adrinaline up, or it may make you want to say 'right on!' I for one don't care. You see I'm a very understanding person, but that doesn't mean I care what your opinion is... The other day in photojournalism class we started a new unit "ethics". This is where the teacher shows us a picture involving a moral issue and we discuss wether or not in OUR opinion it should be published. Well to start us off she left us with can you think of anything that is legal and is morally wrong, or anything that is illegal, but is morally right?.... A girl in my class who I'm ashamed to say I agreed with said that making same sex marriage illegal was morally wrong and that they should have the same rights as everyone else. My teacher then replied in a very 'I'm big your small' kind of voice "We're not even going to get into that discussion. Let's just leave it at I STRONGLY dissagree with you on that one... It should be illegal" WOW Hold on! Those of you who don't know me will pretty soon. I'm very hard headed and stubborn. If I think I'm right I'll argue my point for hours. Even if I know I'm not going to change your mind I WILL get the last word in. I'm not trying to turn my site into a political debate page, because I don't care about politics. However I do care about happiness. Not only is complete happiness the hardest thing to come by it's the most important life goal in my mind. Now on to my views on the "Gay marriage" issue. I understand religions preaching that homosexuality isn't right, but since when has the law ever had to do with religion? If your going to go by the religion aspect of the no "gays" thing you have to keepo in mind many other things religions believe. No killing....For example you may have been at church in the last few years and have heard now let's bow our head for those at war for our country. Now I'm PRETTY sure that your not praying for God to forgive their sins of killing another human being, but if you're praying for a gay man or a gay woman in church I'm almost positive you're not asking God to help him make through the prejidice society we live in, but that you're asking him to forgive him of his unnatural desires and to help him find rightesnous as a human being. Moving on to the "'ol' country boy' That just ain't right someone needs to knock him straight" I really can't say any examples like I can with religion, but I can ask how in the world it would affect you if these people got married. If you don't agree with that fine... If you don't want to communicate with that person because of it....fine. What's not fine is that no matter wether you agree with them or you want to be their aquatence or not; They will still be gay. Therefore there will still be couples and they will still end up living together at some point in the relationship. So what difference is it going to make YOU if they live together and date in public and show compassion for another than if they did all those same things;Only difference being a piece of paper legalizing** their love. The only true people that can argue this are treehuggers that are tring to save the rainforest and want to limit the supply of paper.

HAPPY HALLOWEEN

Well I hope everyone had a good Halloween! These are a couple of pics. we took. I'm not sure if you can tell in these but we're cats. If you'll look closely at the pic. on the right you can see our tails and ears... We had fun i guess you could say. We went trick-or-treting....which your probably thinking I'm to old for but alot of people from the highschool went.... Well we did that untill' about 9 when we decided that the high-heels we were wearing hurting too immensly to go on, so we stopped by Devin's to hang out. Which was fun untill we got in a quarrell over football or Friends. The deal was if i could squat what was already on the bench I could pick what we watched. Well OF COURSE i agreed, but then i realized there was like a bajillion ponds on the bar( not to mention the bar weighed 25 lbs. itself) so being a girl I sweet talked my way out of it.....ok ok i knew where the axe was.....point is we watched MY channels!!! Who ever said boys were the dominent race?

ME AND SARA

Well cross your fingers for me because Sara and me have decided to make our own documentary. I don't know why we didn't think of this earlier. Like BEFORE our trip to the fair with mini skirts when it ended up being like 38 degrees, or BEFORE the time we where walking through my neighborhood (which is in the middle of the suburbs; only animals around here are dogs and cats) and climbed the neighbors fence after hearing an unfamiliar noise to find a COW... That's right a cow..... Now we know the likeliness of anything interesting happening while we're actually filming is highly unlikely(kind of like when you learn something new but when you tell someone to watch you can't do it) Any ways it'll be fun to play around with....and who knows maybe we'll be abducted by aliens while we're shooting

Just to let you know...

Hey guys! Thanks for coming to my site. I just want to let you know that poetry is just something I write when I'm sad or stressed out so don't think I'm like I sound in my poetry ALL the time. Actually, I have a lot of fun basically just being stupid....For example going to Albertson's (our grocery store) and coughing all over the cute worker then gasping for breath asking him where the cough medicine is! Sounds immature I know, but guys actually go for that kind of stuff just as long as your not to the point of being obnoxious! Anyways I'm getting off subject, I LOVE my best friend Sara we have so much fun together. Most of the time we're hitting on boys but other than that she is just so hilarious and great to be around. I don't typically hang out with people my age they get on my nerves. That's where the part in my profile "Brutally honest" kicks in. If you say something I don't agree with or I simply just don't like you; BELIEVE ME you'll know. Just ask my mom (http://Ivyiversmith.blogspot.com) or my aunt (http://livingintoa.blogspot.com/) They'll tell you!!..............P.S my mom's not exaggerating on how big of a goober she is!

Don't let go of the past

We used to be so close,
When you took a turn for the worst,
I miss our talks and laughs the most,
Now you look as though you're under a curse.

The spark is gone from your eye,
Your happy smile has faded away,
I can't stand when I see you cry,
I know you'll make it through....Someday.

I want you to know I still love you,
I just wish you loved yourself as well,
It's hard; I'd like to help,
but I don't know what to do.

It's like someone's broke in, and blown out your candle.

You

Your smile brings one to my face.
I don't need meditation to find my happy place.
When I'm with you, everything good.
When in your arms, I feel for once like I should.

Although there's many times when we're apart,
You'll always hold that special place in my heart.
I've decided that you are the one for me.
I can't predict the future, so I guess we'll have to wait and see.

I love the way you look at me,
You don't just look; but you seem to see.
If you only knew how much you mean
Ask around. I'm sure other people have seen.

It's your greatness that blows me away,
I don't see how someone like you could love me like you say.
I don't know how I got so blessed,
Didn't think I'd feel this way; Never would have guessed.

I can't stand not getting to see you much,
But when I do, I get butterflies just from you touch.
I want you to really know how I feel.
To see all the things I say are real.

See

I can't believe you said those things,
You don't even realize how you hurt me.
I don't know whether to give up, or move on,
I guess all I can do is just wait and see.

You obviously don't know how I feel for you,
If you did, you wouldn't put me through this.
You say it's OK, but we both know it's not,
Before we say goodbye, I want one last kiss.

These words may not mean much to you now,
But one day, you'll look back and notice it.
We were meant to be together, but you f*cked up,
In time you'll see; this was over some stupid sh*t.

Not to be hateful, and not to be mean,
I want you to suffer, and truly miss me.
I want you to grow from this ordeal,
However, I don't want you to get over it.

I want you to Grieve.

Give Up

What's the point in trying?
Do you ever feel like giving up?
Do you ever feel like dying?

I'm sick of holding on each day,
I'm stuck in this cold, dark place,
As I watch my happiness slip away.

I know my words may hurt you,
But you need to feel what I feel.
That way you'll understand that everything real.

I'll never go through with my dreams,
I'll never feel a true smile again,
As the tears from my eyes come down in streams...

I ask myself, why am I trying...
Answer: 'Cause I'll never give up
Even if I feel like dying.

Hell we call home

How can someone be as selfish as to bring someone into this world, into this hell we call home. Where people are starving and kids are getting beat. People do something awful, and then quote the bible the next Sunday at church. Our world is horrible; if you're not receiving the pain, you're watching it impact someone you love, which can be just as bad. People have to hide their true feelings just to spare another's. I've met people in my short life that are my age and have seen, and been through things no person at any age should have to endure. Now me, I have it pretty good, except the agonizing pain that tears at my heart each day as I see people go by with cuts on their wrists and tears on their cheeks... And there's nothing I can do about it. How can anyone want to raise an innocent child in this hell we call home?

Grow Up

You're leaving soon, I hate to see you go
everything going to work out,
Don't ask me how it is I know.

I see you hurt, but all you do is shout,
You make it hard for anyone to pity you.

To be honest I'm glad you're moving,
Don't get me wrong I love you, I do,
But not hearing your voice could be soothing.

I'll probably miss you when you leave,
That's absolutely no guarantee,
I don't want to see her have to grieve,
I wish you would grow up so you could see...

Never close your eyes

I close my eyes and see your pain,
I see the blood softly slapping the floor,
It's dripping from your wrist like rain.
I feel as you do about life; I don't want it anymore.

Then there's people keeping me here,
I couldn't leave them or hurt them in such ways,
You know....the ones that truly love you and care,
Their smiles are as refreshing as the sun's rays.

Once your gone I don't know what I'll do,
But while your here I can't handle you.

Goodbye

I've never felt these things before,
The way you love me has me yearning for more.
My thoughts are endless once they start,
It's like you've filled up my empty heart.

I can't stand not being in your presence,
When I'm with you my unhappiness lessens.
Every minute not with you feels like years,
I miss you so much It's hard to fight back the tears.

I'm constantly dreaming about your gentle touch,
You've no idea how much I miss your smile and such.
When I'm around you my mind disappears,
That's when my heart takes over and steers.

Every time I look at you, I see that look in your eye,
Which makes it harder, almost impossible to tell you goodbye.